Focus: What Are Friends For?

Text: Act.27:3

"And the next day we touched at Sidon. And Julius courteously entreated Paul, and gave him liberty to go unto his friends to REFRESH himself."

In the journey of life we need family and friends. We cannot afford to live lonely lives in a crowded world. God places people in our ways to show us favor. We need people, and people need us.

God says, "It is not good that the man should be ALONE; I will make him an help meet for him… but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him" (Gen.2:18,20). God created the animals before He created the man. God brought the animals to mingle with the man, but the man could not find his match among them. The animals were not in the same class as the man. He could not fit into their space. The man was in need of his type; he wanted another human being, not an animal, to associate with, and assist him. When the woman came along, she was a match for him. Unlike the animals, Adam says, "This is NOW bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…" She was a match. She was a being of his kind and class - a complete companion. They fit into each other's skin and life. They belonged together and would function together as one. 

This shows that humans and animals are social misfits. They do not belong together. When God made the woman, the purpose was more than marriage. It was basically about the human community. I am simply stressing the point that as human beings, we need one another, because we belong together. All human beings are one big family. We have a saying in my place that when animals are in need of someone to scratch them, they run to the trees, but when a person needs scratching, he goes to his fellow man.

In prison Paul found favor in the sight of one Julius, who granted him the liberty to go to his friends for his personal needs to be met. The grace of God makes our burden bearable. By divine favor Paul enjoyed so much liberty even while he was in jail. He was granted the freedom to go to friends for his needs.

Life without divine favor can be rough and tough. It can be literally unbearable and unlivable. It was God who touched Julius, and he allowed Paul "to go to his friends so they might provide for his needs."

God gives us family and friends to help us meet our needs. In our tight corners we need friends. When we face life's storms we need friends. When we are going through hell and high waters we need friends. We need one another. We need our fellow human beings, not animals, and certainly not robots.

Divine favor is a fundamental necessity in our lives as we go through life. Divine favor provides us with people to help us along the path of life that we travel.

Look at Julius being used of God to making Paul's jail life easier and tolerable. From prison he could freely go to his friends for his needs.

In whatever circumstances that you find yourself, look for goodly friends. Don't live alone! Don't go through the stuff of life alone! Don't suffer alone! The strength and help you need are with your family and friends. Aloneness can be suicidal. People are not in your life for no reason. Solomon says that "a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Prov.17:17).

I charge you today to value your family and friends, and allow them to help you. Stop proving macho! Stop behaving like you need nobody!

No man is an island, so says John Dunne. Stop looking down on people! Stop deceiving yourself into believing that because you have God in your life, you need no one else! The psalmist says, "The earth is the LORD'S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein" (Ps.24:1). Paul says to Timothy, "Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is PROFITABLE to ME for the ministry" (2Tim.4:11). Mark was useful to Paul in ministry. Paul says to Philemon concerning Onesimus, "Which in time past was to thee UNPROFITABLE, but now PROFITABLE to THEE and to ME" (Philm.1:11). 

Don't write people off, because the person who was not useful to you yesterday can become useful to you tomorrow. No one is entirely useless in this world. People break your heart, and it is also people who mend your heart. The person you regard as your biggest liability today may just turn out to be your greatest asset tomorrow.

In this life, God is God, nothing less. Man is man, nothing more. And miracle is miracle, nothing else. Just make sure you put everything and everyone in their rightful place. Man is not God, and God is not man. Do not confuse the two, nor mix them up!

The bottom line is simply this: you need the refreshing that flows from friends. You need someone's attention and tender care. You need love and kindness. You need someone to understand you, and take you as you are without being unnecessarily judgmental and unduly critical. Give a friend the permission to care for you. After all, what are friends for?

by Bishop Moses E. Peter